Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Sarcasm? (Not!)

Tony, sweetie, I do understand sarcasm. I just refuse to participate in an unhealthy conversation. Now, won't you be lamb and drop dead?

Monday, August 04, 2014

the break-up

One of my all-time fave books is "A Spy in the House of Love" by Anaïs Nin. It is a story about a woman who confesses to strangers to find solace.

I'm afraid I'm in a bit of limbo right now. I've never been comfy with girls talking about break-ups. Never been a big fan of the pity party that goes with it. The first guy friend I told about the change in my circumstance handled it by attempting to have sex. We're still practically strangers to each other. So, please, lemme confess.

I have never really loved him. I told him I did. Everyday. For the past 4 years we were in what I understood to be a committed relationship. I was just saying it. Saying it out loud like learning a new language. Saying it over and over again, hoping I eventually do.

When he broke things up on account of not having enough common interests, I was relieved that I didn't have to.

When I met him, he was a wreck emotionally. He was taking his divorce with difficulty. He was sleeping around, feeling good about himself only after paying for sex. Until I came along. The first time we were together, he had decided to be committed to me. I wasn't exactly in the same boat with him but I shrugged it off and gave it a try. After all, he's based in the US and I in Singapore. What was an hour everyday to spare?

Every year since then, I visit him to do things together. I always have this scene in my head how I break things up on my last day. But, he always had this unhappy look. And it breaks my heart to see him that way. So, every time, I tell myself, "maybe another time."

And the day finally came today. He's been seeing someone else in the last 6 weeks or so and he fell in 
love with her. It's over now. I am so numb, devoid of any feeling. I wish I can be happy for him.

Saturday, November 02, 2013

euro-bound

I have been putting this trip off for some time now. I always wanted to discover new places with my fellow travel-enthusiast sister. Since she's still pretty much tied to her residency, I don't have much of a choice but to travel solo.

I love Europe!!!

Monday, July 22, 2013

bad, bad girl

You,

What's going on with you? You reek of desperation. If you want to be a bad girl so bad, then go for it. Less talk and more action.


Me

Friday, July 27, 2012

the big 3-0

30. The only relevance this number holds is the fact that I only have 20 more years to go before I reach my target expiration date. 

I haven't really thought what I'd like to do with my life. Ugh.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

being OFW: the housemate from hell

I was roused from my slumber with Spice Girls' song "2 Become 1" trying to drown the annoying squeaky sounds of my housemate's bed next door.

Oh, what have I done to deserve this?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

being OFW: Tourism

The war of "Wow Philippines" and "It's More Fun in the Philippines" is on.

Meh. Does it really matter which one is better?